Back from Vacation

I'm back! And oh my gosh did I have a lot of internets to catch up on. I read about five hundred LiveJournal posts (not exaggerating, either!) before I accidentally closed the page I was on, lost my place, and gave up. I had a very good time on my trip, but I missed Daddy so much. I had a couple moments of severe littleness - the sort where it just strikes you out of nowhere - while I was on the trip, and wished so badly that he could have been there. I'm sure that other people who are littles have experienced this sort of thing, where just all the sudden it's like, "I need Daddy/Mommy!" It's not always the best when this happens when you've got an ocean between you and Daddy.

And this feeling comes in two different flavors, good and bad. The good was when I stumbled upon a store full of Beatrix Potter things, and how much I had loved those books as a child came rushing back to me. My room was actually Peter Rabbit-themed when I was very young, so her books have a strong association with childhood for me. They had more Beatrix Potter things there than I'd ever seen, too - books, toys, clothes, even things like dishes and picture frames. I got very excited about them and so badly wished Daddy had been there, just so I could have said, "Look at this, look at this!" For as I am sure you know, while Mommies and Daddies are perfectly capable of looking at things on their own, one must often point out the subtle nuances of exactly why specific things are so awesome. I don't actually know if he's ever read any of the stories. I'll have to ask him tonight. But I just went and checked, and I have a big book with nine of her stories in it! I'll definitely have to remember to bring it the next time I come for a visit.

The bad came a few days later, when I was in the city instead of the countryside, and hadn't had the forethought to go to the bathroom quite as often as I'd needed to. All of the sudden I really needed to go, and it seemed like at just that moment all the businesses that might have had bathrooms I could have used started closing! It also didn't help that I was really tired from a long day of walking around and also a bit lost. I was wishing so badly that I was diapered so I wouldn't have to worry about finding a bathroom, but of course wishing didn't really help any in that situation. It got really bad, and I still couldn't find anywhere to go. I just wanted to sit down and cry because I felt like I couldn't deal with it on my own. I knew that if Daddy had been there, he would have been able to fix everything, but since he wasn't I had to be grown-up and keep going until I found somewhere. Which I did, and not a moment too soon. Thank goodness for random Burger Kings!

As I headed back to the hotel for the evening, I knew that the situation really hadn't been as bad as it had seemed at the time, but in the heat of the moment I can be bad at recognizing that. Being overwhelmed by things is something I know I have always had problems with, but having Daddy helps so much. And even when he's not there, I just ask myself what he would do and say to me, and that calms me down and gets me to think a little more levelheadedly. I still prefer actually having him there, though!